Realizing I Love Male Manipulator Music

Getting Lost in the Male Manipulator Music Reddit Rabbit Hole Only to Find That It's Actually Not That Funny and I Might Be a Manipulator Too

Based on the title, I'm sure you're already thinking - "Lol, Radiohead sympathizer." And the answer is, only kind of. Leave me alone. Here is the story of how I, a 22-year-old girl, realized I was an undercover male manipulator.

The other day I listened to "High and Dry" by Radiohead for the first time, and I can't lie, it did awaken something inside me. I have never really listened to Radiohead before, mainly because it's kind of a bummer, and for the last few years I've been into more up-tempo alt-rock if I was listening to rock at all. "High and Dry" was cool though, I liked the energy a lot, so I decided to investigate. Radiohead had always felt mysterious to me. It was one of those bands I knew about but never took the time to listen to. Upon listening, I liked a few of their songs and was on a pretty consistent kick for about a week. I texted my dear friend Madeline "me in my radiohead era 🫦" to which she replied "um.. okay male manipulator."

I had heard this term before. Male Manipulator Music. Love the alliteration, it has such a great ring to it. Of course, TikTok popularized this term, as it has with many other buzzwords that came before and will come after. I was somewhat aware of what it meant. I thought it was just music that guys who are red flags listened to. But upon a deep dive Reddit search, I realized there's more reason behind the theory. Reddit informed me that certain music falls in this category because of its lyricism. Basically, the male musicians who write this music identify heavily as the victims of their own stories and love affairs. The language is self-pitying, with light touches of women-blaming flair, and usually centers around them being completely innocent next to all the sultry, evil women in their lives. They often describe feeling misunderstood, not like other guys, and too sensitive and smart for their own good.

Some honorable mentions of music that falls into this trope are of course Radiohead, The Smiths, Tame Impala, Kanye West, The Weeknd, Mac DeMarco, Weezer, Joy Division, The Strokes, and so many others—the list truly goes on and on. As I looked at the lists on Reddit, I started laughing less and started to feel more concerned. I began to realize I listen to almost every single one of these artists. Not just listen but truly enjoy and revisit frequently. Am I a male manipulator? The answer is of course, no. Because I never do anything wrong, and I am the victim of this story. Ha, get it?

Anyway, I care less about my own manipulator status and more about the implications of male victimhood. I feel kind of bad, resigning all men who feel slighted by the world into this category of trying to manipulate others. But at the same time, it's definitely a pattern. Not only in men, but also women, trans and non-binary folk alike. Are we all obsessed with viewing ourselves as martyrs? I think the answer is yes. So much of the lyricism that dominates Gen Z is self-pitying whines about how everyone else is a narcissist. We are just trying our best, but the world is actively working against us. Maybe it's hard for all of us to take responsibility and acknowledge the part we play. Although I do admit I think that men, especially straight/cis men, struggle in this area more than the rest of us. But considering my Wrapped, maybe I am also the problem.

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Written by Alexa Marie
Edited by David Nathaniel